Episode 145
Transforming Negativity: Six Steps to a Brighter Tomorrow
Deborah Mallow, a distinguished motivational speaker and seasoned positive energy success coach, joins us to elucidate her innovative methodologies for transforming negative habits into positive ones. Central to our discourse is her forthcoming book, "Six Steps to Fewer Days that Suck," which presents practical strategies and insights designed to facilitate personal growth and foster a proactive mindset. Throughout our conversation, Deborah emphasizes the significance of self-advocacy, urging individuals to have the courage to articulate their desires and needs, thereby alleviating frustration and promoting clarity in interpersonal relations. As we delve into her unique career trajectory, she shares invaluable lessons gleaned from her personal experiences, illustrating the profound impact of resilience and positivity on one’s journey. Join us as we explore the transformative power of mindset and the essential practices that can lead to a more fulfilling and joyful existence.
In this illuminating episode, we engage with Deborah Mallow, a motivational speaker whose forthcoming book, 'Six Steps to Fewer Days that Suck', promises to be a transformative guide for those seeking to overcome negativity. Malo's approach is refreshingly grounded; she emphasizes the importance of personal agency in crafting one's happiness. Her mother’s advice to ask for what one wants serves as a cornerstone of her philosophy, illustrating how voicing our needs can dismantle feelings of frustration and helplessness. Throughout the conversation, we delve into the intricacies of mindset, exploring how our internal narratives influence our external realities. Mallow's narrative is rich with reflections from her own life, particularly her transition from a successful career in pharmaceuticals to a role dedicated to uplifting others. She articulates a compelling framework for personal development, combining empathy with actionable strategies that encourage listeners to adopt a positive mindset without the burden of unrealistic expectations. The episode resonates with a call to action—inviting each of us to take daily steps towards a more positive existence, fostering resilience and joy in the face of adversity.
Takeaways:
- The importance of asking for what one wants cannot be overstated, as others cannot read our minds.
- Deborah Mallow's journey from a pharmaceutical representative to a motivational speaker illustrates the transformative power of self-reflection.
- Finding positivity in daily decisions is essential for personal growth and overcoming negativity.
- The six steps outlined in Deborah's book provide practical strategies for cultivating a positive mindset and reducing days that are less fulfilling.
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
My guest today is Deborah Malo.
Speaker A:She is your audience's ray of sunshine.
Speaker A:A charismatic, enthusiastic and inspiring motivational speaker and seasoned positive energy success coach.
Speaker A:She is also the author of the soon to be launched book six Steps to a Fewer to Fewer Days that Suck, which she shares strategies, solutions, stories and some science to turn negative habits into positive ones.
Speaker A:Additionally, she is the creator of the daily A Self improvement essentials to reinforce positive habits.
Speaker A:Deborah's unique career path led her to this moment.
Speaker A:She shares her successful success principles not by forcing positivity.
Speaker A:They're about approaching life differently, achieving a positive mindset and making life a little easier helps to find the sunshine.
Speaker A:We welcome Debra to the podcast Foreign Deborah.
Speaker A:So good to have you on the podcast.
Speaker A:How you doing today?
Speaker B:Awesome, Dr. Keith.
Speaker B:I have been looking forward to this for a very long time, as you know, and finally the day arrived.
Speaker A:Yes, finally the day has arrived.
Speaker A:This is great.
Speaker A:So I'm going to ask you my favorite question.
Speaker A:Ask all my guests.
Speaker A:What's the best piece of advice you ever received?
Speaker B:It's from my mom when I was quite young because she would always say to me, you need to ask people for what you want because nobody can read your mind.
Speaker B:And you know how hard it is to ask for things for yourself.
Speaker B:It's easier to ask for things for your children, for your.
Speaker B:For somebody else.
Speaker B:It's easier.
Speaker B:But asking for yourself is so necessary.
Speaker B:And I mention this to you because I think it's important that we all have the courage to ask, of course, kindly, with grace, for what we need, what we want, because nobody could read our minds.
Speaker B:And that really helps sort of eliminate the frustration when you just ask and you can expect, maybe the answer will be no.
Speaker B:So maybe it'll be yes, but you don't know.
Speaker B:But whichever, what, whatever it is, yes or no, you.
Speaker B:You should serve yourself and show yourself to be kind and respectful.
Speaker B:And you accept it and you learn.
Speaker B:And sometimes you ask, well, why did you come up with that answer?
Speaker B:Sometimes, depending on the situation, you can ask that and sometimes you can turn the situation around and what was a no might become a yes.
Speaker B:So the best advice, and I learned young, is to ask for things that you might need or want.
Speaker A:I had another guest say that her father gave her that advice before her wedding to say, tell your.
Speaker A:Tell your spouse what you want or what you would like because he can't read your mind.
Speaker B:I guess it's good parental advice, right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So I like that.
Speaker A:I'm always curious too.
Speaker A:Think about in your life and your journey who are some people who served as a mentor or an inspiration for you along the way?
Speaker B:And interesting, I guess my mother has had a big impact on my life because she, and she's still going strong at 91, lives on her own drives.
Speaker B:Okay, maybe, I don't know.
Speaker B:She, she's good at it.
Speaker B:She's just really spunky.
Speaker B:And at 26 years old, we.
Speaker B:I grew up in Manhattan, New York, and my mom is an artist.
Speaker B:So was my, so was my dad.
Speaker B: My dad passed in: Speaker B:Her dad had her own biz, his own business, and she loved design.
Speaker B:So she said to my, to my dad, because he was working for a company under contract at the time, being a designer.
Speaker B:She said, if I start this business and it's a success in a year, or at least not losing money, will you join me?
Speaker B:And the fact that she had the courage back in the day, remember, it wasn't as common or common at all for women to be working.
Speaker B:So many women stayed at home with children.
Speaker B:Some didn't have a choice and had to work, of course.
Speaker B:But the, the fact that, and especially even have their own business or start their own business to, to me is admirable.
Speaker B:And I always think about that when I'm scared to do something or I think, oh, why bother?
Speaker B:I always think of my mother and, and I say to myself, she had the courage and it worked out, so why not?
Speaker B:Things work out, things don't, but if you don't try, nothing happens.
Speaker B:And then the other mentor for me is my husband, because before I was a positive energy, happiness coach, mindset coach, and before I was a successful number one ranking pharmaceutical rep, I, I was, I was in design.
Speaker B:And that's when I studied in college.
Speaker B:And my husband saw me working for other people and being really successful.
Speaker B:And he said, we should start a design and licensing company.
Speaker B:You're so good.
Speaker B:Look at what you can do.
Speaker B:And he gave me the courage also like seeing my mother, we took the step and started a business which we ran for well over 15 years, licensed my designs and illustrations to many companies, and home furnishings and gift products.
Speaker B:So both my mother and my husband have been mentors, supporters, cheerleaders, letting me believe, and so many of us stop us from believing that we can do what we set our minds to do.
Speaker B:And maybe it doesn't happen exactly as we do it, but if we don't try, it's almost like we lose out.
Speaker B:So my advice for everybody listening is just go for it, do it.
Speaker B:You can do hard things.
Speaker B:And I'm proof, my mother's proof.
Speaker B:And that's what I want to share as answer to that question.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:I'm curious.
Speaker A:You know, when I think about, you said positivity coaching, my first thought was the author, Norman Vincent Peale.
Speaker B:Oh, my God, yes.
Speaker A:Who I think was the first person I can remember who talked about a positive mindset.
Speaker A:What was a turning point in your life that led you to become a motivational speaker and a success coach, Positivity coach.
Speaker B:And it, it was a long time coming.
Speaker B:I've always had a lot of empathy for people, but it really started with me when my chapter of being a high ranking, number one ranking pharmaceutical rep at a big iconic brand company.
Speaker B:And I worked so hard to prove myself, prove myself to myself, to constantly be number one over and over and over again.
Speaker B:And I was losing myself.
Speaker B:I was negative, I was exhausted.
Speaker B:I was just not a happy camper.
Speaker B:Even though I go into offices and be a ray of sunshine and inspire people and, you know, it was always about making people feel.
Speaker B:Feel good.
Speaker B:And I said, I started to write my guidebook, it wasn't Six Steps to Fewer Days that suck at the time.
Speaker B:It was a way to transform my life to find more balance and to add more positivity into my life, to get rid of those negative habits that were bringing me down.
Speaker B:And doing that over a number of years, writing the guidebook, reading about the science, reading about other people that did that, that overcame obstacles, made me want to help other people.
Speaker B:That empathetic empathy, the empathetic part of me, to help other people also get unstuck.
Speaker B:Because I see so many people on a hamster wheel.
Speaker B:They're not happy with their jobs, they're not happy in their life.
Speaker B:Maybe they're not happy with their partner, whatever the reason.
Speaker B:And I wanted to help them flip the script, as I had flipped the script for myself.
Speaker B:And now I help people also get unstuck and just live a happier life.
Speaker B:I always say life can be messy and no day is going to be perfect, but.
Speaker B:But we can make it better.
Speaker B:And we choose our mindset.
Speaker B:Positive, negative, happy, sad, whatever it is.
Speaker B:It's really a choice how we want to live that day, even in difficult times.
Speaker B:So my choice is live happier.
Speaker B:Not happy every second, but happier.
Speaker B:And add light into the world.
Speaker B:Don't be the darkness, be the light.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:I remember the.
Speaker A:One of my favorite quotes is by Mike Tyson, who says, oh, yes, everybody has a plan till they get punched in the face.
Speaker A:Yes, I'm Curious thinking about this concept of being positive.
Speaker A:Give us an example, maybe a personal story, of how you apply these principles when you run across something in life that is challenging.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And what I do in every situation is I now take a pause.
Speaker B:I don't react because I had.
Speaker B:I had anger issues, frustration.
Speaker B:I type A. I've mellowed because I wanted to.
Speaker B:It was my choice to do that because it wasn't serving me well.
Speaker B:I wasn't being.
Speaker B:Feeling good about these.
Speaker B:These negative emotions.
Speaker B:So I caution everybody, before you go down the rabbit hole, and is it easy?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:But before you go down the rabbit hole, flip the script, stop yourself, pause and breathe.
Speaker B:That might sound trite, but honestly, in that pause, you just think to yourself, Talk to yourself internally, that inner monologue, and find something positive about yourself, about the moment.
Speaker B:Because thinking about the regrets afterwards, once you get into that tizzy and let all the frustration out or you're berating yourself, it doesn't help.
Speaker B:And I don't worry anymore because I read a study out of Penn state that 91% of what we worry about never happens.
Speaker B:And it's really true.
Speaker B:I've proven it out in my own life, so I've managed to pause and flip the script.
Speaker B:It takes time.
Speaker B:But know that small changes over time can have a big impact.
Speaker B:And if you love yourself enough to give yourself a hug every morning, to smile, to say kind words to yourself, to take you through the day, it really helps you, because it's how you set things up.
Speaker B:Even thinking before you react, how you set it up.
Speaker B:Do you want to go to the dark side or do you want to live in light?
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's all a choice.
Speaker B:Our thoughts, our mindset.
Speaker B:We can reshape our thoughts and reframe our perspective.
Speaker B:It just takes patience and time.
Speaker B:But if you love yourself enough, it's worth doing.
Speaker B:And we should all do that for ourselves.
Speaker B:Because life is too short to be grumpy, and even Mickey Mouse has bad days.
Speaker B:But we can control how we think and act.
Speaker A:How you approach the day.
Speaker A:I know Paul always talked about having the right attitude about spiritually, about looking for times of rejoicing versus not being rejoicing in your situation.
Speaker A:Tell us a little bit about your.
Speaker A:How did you come up with the concept of the daily decision?
Speaker A:What impact has it had on your life and the life of other people who've partaken of that daily decision?
Speaker B:Because we just talked about it.
Speaker B:How we approach each day, how we show up for each day, choosing to live in the present.
Speaker B:Moment and find the sunshine.
Speaker B:Because I'm all about finding the sunshine.
Speaker B:Was is the reason I call it the daily decisions, big decisions with an S. Because we have decisions to make every day about ourselves.
Speaker B:We can control ourselves, as I mentioned, not other people.
Speaker B:So we have the choice.
Speaker B:And those decisions can make our lives better or worse.
Speaker B:And I ask everybody, the people I coach, just in general, why would we want to make ourselves miserable when we don't have to.
Speaker B:We many times cause our own strife.
Speaker B:And I know because I was guilty of that.
Speaker B:And no more.
Speaker B:No more.
Speaker B:And I caution everybody, think before you react and, and flip the script to say something positive about yourself, to make a decision that's going to serve you well.
Speaker A:Great.
Speaker A:Tell us about the Positive Energy Club and what do you hope members gain from it?
Speaker B:And it's all about that.
Speaker B:It's how we train our minds, reshape our thoughts, to look for the silver lining in a day, the positive in a day to be the light for other people.
Speaker B:And that's what I share in the Positive Energy Club in my newsletters is just those little tips and tricks.
Speaker B:Not a lot to be able to flip the script.
Speaker B:Because think about this.
Speaker B:Our brains love patterns.
Speaker B:The more we create positive patterns, that's what will stick.
Speaker B:And we have the choice to overcome the negative pattern bias that was developed back in the early human time that our brains tend to remember the sting of the negative, the negative information over the positive.
Speaker B:So we have to work doubly hard to flip the script so we think positively.
Speaker B:Naturally occurring in the morning, we have a cortisol strike that.
Speaker B:I'm sorry, the cortisol just hits.
Speaker B:It's just naturally occurring.
Speaker B:And that's the stress hormone.
Speaker B:And that's why I say in the morning, give yourself a hug, say kind words, smile.
Speaker B:Because smiling makes us feel better.
Speaker B:It triggers the endorphins.
Speaker B:So consciously knowing what's going on in our bodies, what's going on in our minds, giving ourselves grace, not to be so hard on ourselves, to love ourselves enough to be able to enjoy, to be positive, to be confident, to be resilient.
Speaker B:Those three things is what I teach and talk about in the Positive Energy Club and in everything that I do.
Speaker B:Because I want people to be on, to feel unstuck, to get unstuck and to just enjoy their lives more.
Speaker B:And it's just so simple.
Speaker B:But we over complicate it so many times.
Speaker A:We do.
Speaker A:So give us an overview of your new book, Six Steps to a Fewer to Fewer Days that Suck.
Speaker B:So the overview is it's not a chapter book.
Speaker B:I wrote it for myself as my own guidebook.
Speaker B:So this is what I did.
Speaker B:I came up with something that we as humans struggle with.
Speaker B:And there's about 90, 90 of these in, in, or maybe a little less in double pages.
Speaker B:Steps, the decision, the ditch, bad habits, the mindset, the action, the attitude, and the commitment.
Speaker B:So within each of those, there's a pay a double page that sets each up, and then the double pages within each, like, walk away from negativity.
Speaker B:No more excuses, Prevention, perfection prevents progress.
Speaker B:Just all the things that we struggle with.
Speaker B:And within that, there's the name of the.
Speaker B:Of the topic, there's a quote that resonates, and I think it'll resonate with everybody.
Speaker B:There's the commitment to yourself.
Speaker B:No judgment in any of this.
Speaker B:Just a warm hug.
Speaker B:Then there's questions and strategies, solutions, tips, a little story.
Speaker B:This is all on a double page, mind you.
Speaker B:A little story about somebody, whether famous or just like me, that overcame that difficult situation we're talking about.
Speaker B:And then there's a mantra, and then there's an activity, and all of that in a double page.
Speaker B:Because basically what I wanted to do, what I did for myself, is make it easy, make words and visualizations that you can see through.
Speaker B:Words that when you're about to go down a rabbit hole, the memory clicks of that word, of that activity, of a strategy, and you can do it.
Speaker B:It's sort of instant gratification and something that you can read.
Speaker B:And at the end of each step, there's a summary, there's 10 tips, and then there's a line page for aha moments and takeaways.
Speaker B:So the things that you personally or the person reading it struggles with, they can address.
Speaker B:For me, as I mentioned, I struggled with anger and frustration and learning to balance.
Speaker B:So everybody has something that's their Achilles heel that they can work through.
Speaker B:And this book offers it in a very easy, readable way to just transform what has you stuck.
Speaker A:So tell us what the six steps are.
Speaker B:Okay, so as I mentioned, it's making the decision that's number one.
Speaker B:Number two, it's ditching bad habits, the patterns, creating positive patterns to overtake and overcome the negative.
Speaker B:Number three is the mindset.
Speaker B:You know, we can reframe, reshape our mindset to be more positive, to see the good in things rather than the bad, to give ourselves grace.
Speaker B:And then the action it's taking, it's how we take action, how we react to things, having, Taking that pause and things we can do to Help ourselves get there and in very easy little things to do.
Speaker B:And I offer the science behind it in very simple terms.
Speaker B:There's no graphs and charts and a lot of looking up things.
Speaker B:It's just stated because I'm a simple person.
Speaker B:And then after that, the attitude, which is different than the mindset, and we take our attitude with us, let it be positive, not negative, the.
Speaker B:And our outlook.
Speaker B:And then I wrap it up like we started with the decision.
Speaker B:I wrap it up with making the commitment, the commitment to ourselves that we are going to work through these struggles, not be so hard on ourselves, give ourselves grace, and actually let go of the imposter syndrome, stop criticizing ourselves, the inner bully in our minds, all of that stuff, to let it go with simple ways that we can do it.
Speaker B:And it really, really does work because it worked for me.
Speaker B:It works for the people I coach because.
Speaker B:And it's like I'm being a cheerleader, like a friend cheering you on, no judgment, only with love and maybe some tough love, but in a really kind way, because I think we all work better when.
Speaker B:When we're loved, as when we're beaten over the head about things and we have to come to our own realization about things.
Speaker B:And I think this book helps you do that in simple ways.
Speaker A:So being a type of personality myself, and if I'm grumpy and I want to solve that grumpy problem right now, what are those six steps would be the most critical one for me to master.
Speaker A:So I cannot be grumpy tomorrow.
Speaker B:Well, I think.
Speaker B:I don't know if it's.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's in this, you know, in the step, because it's all part and parcel of the same thing.
Speaker B:But what I think it is is it's a choice.
Speaker B:Do you want to stay grumpy or maybe you need to eat something good for you.
Speaker B:Maybe you need sleep, more sleep.
Speaker B:You know, there's always reasons for things, but we can choose if we want to be positive, negative, we want to be happy or miserable.
Speaker B:We can choose all of that.
Speaker B:So again, I. I caution everybody, you know, think about that and then distract yourself.
Speaker B:Do something nice for yourself, whether it's having a cup of coffee, having a cup of tea, whether it's taking a run or exercising, taking a walk around the block, because that.
Speaker B:It starts the endorphins.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:Even walking is even known to help with stress and pain.
Speaker B:So there's many things that you can do.
Speaker B:But I would.
Speaker B:I also like to do is hug myself.
Speaker B:You know, people say, read A joke.
Speaker B:Think, think.
Speaker B:A funny thought.
Speaker B:Smile.
Speaker B:Because as I said, smiling helps increase those endorphins.
Speaker B:There's so many little things that you can do and it's all through the book to get rid of.
Speaker B:In my newsletter I actually say how to get rid of the grumpies because honestly I understand but so much of it is a choice and how we want to flip the script so that we serve ourselves well and we feel good, better.
Speaker B:Because once we feel better, we're better for the other people around us.
Speaker B:Being present in the moment and giving yourself grace.
Speaker A:I love it when clients come to you looking for your advice as a coach.
Speaker A:What are some common obstacles that you see most people who reach for reach out for services and help?
Speaker A:What are they commonly coming you asking you to solve?
Speaker B:You know, it's a myriad of things, things, you know, people feel stuck in their job.
Speaker B:A lot of it is just getting unstuck and believing in themselves.
Speaker B:I know that I teach and talk about the confidence within positive energy and resilience because to me those are the keys for a happier life.
Speaker B:When you believe in yourself, when you can bounce back from difficult times.
Speaker B:When you look for the positive, find your sunshine.
Speaker B:Look for the positive rather than the negative.
Speaker B:I find that I'm helping people do that, see the good in themselves, not look for.
Speaker B:And I understand because I was there.
Speaker B:I looked for the one thing that I didn't, that didn't meet my expectations in a day rather than the ten things that I did well in a day.
Speaker B:And rather than giving people homework, we do it together because procrastination, all the reasons why maybe people won't do the homework.
Speaker B:So we work through these things together.
Speaker B:We figure out what are the things that would make them happy.
Speaker B:People have changed jobs because they felt stuck in a job and they've made courageous decisions and found ways to start something as a side hustle and build it into their passion, their purpose.
Speaker B:So it's, it's just so many different things.
Speaker B:But I think it all starts with confidence in oneself, having the positive energy, reshaping our thoughts to see the good and building our resilience.
Speaker B:Making lists of all the things that we did that we accomplished in our lives because that gives us courage to do it again and again we see that we can do it.
Speaker B:And I like to say back here, every great achievement was once impossible and a goal is to dream with a deadline.
Speaker B:So again, it's just having someone there to hold your hand and cheerlead you on.
Speaker B:I think that's what I Do more than everything else.
Speaker B:Because I think so many of the answers are within us already.
Speaker B:It's just a matter of believing enough in yourself to go forward.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:So I'm going to ask you my favorite question before I give you this.
Speaker A:The new Season 6 surprise.
Speaker A:You pick your.
Speaker A:You pick your question.
Speaker A:Question.
Speaker A:But what legacy do you want to leave behind?
Speaker B:So one thing I want to be known for is being kind, both to myself and to those around me.
Speaker B:Having patience, being caring.
Speaker B:And one of the things I'm working towards.
Speaker B:I'm writing the curriculum.
Speaker B:Everything takes time.
Speaker B:This book took over five, six years, I think six.
Speaker B:So I'm giving myself the grace to spend the time.
Speaker B:But I am planning something not, not my own nonprofit.
Speaker B:I don't want to do that.
Speaker B:But I want to be able to give workshops to teens and children to build their confidence and self esteem.
Speaker B:Because I find when people feel good about themselves, they're kinder inside and outward.
Speaker B:And I think this world needs so much more kindness, tolerance, patience.
Speaker B:And if we learn it at a young age, it's so much easier to live life and go forward and do what you love and put your goodness out into the world.
Speaker B:Because we all have gifts to offer.
Speaker B:We're all different, but we all have our own gifts to share.
Speaker B:And having the confidence to share them to me would be the biggest gift that we could all give to this world.
Speaker B:So that's how I would like to answer that question.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:Now here's the tough part.
Speaker A:Pick a number between one and five.
Speaker A:See what question you get.
Speaker B:Four.
Speaker A:Four.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker B:It's always been my favorite number.
Speaker A:Oh, this is a good question.
Speaker A:Question number four that you picked is what are you most excited about right now?
Speaker B:What am I talking to you?
Speaker B:Because I'm present in the moment and it's really the truth.
Speaker B:And I didn't have to think about it because that is so important to be present in the moment with the people that you're with and share that back and forth and chat and.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's it.
Speaker B:And I have a question for you, but you might want to ask me a question.
Speaker A:Go ahead, your turn.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Hopefully that answer was okay.
Speaker A:It was good and it fit in with your happiness.
Speaker A:So there you go.
Speaker B:So I noticed in our emails back and forth that you have under your signature, in your email you have all your strengths.
Speaker B:Well, the 10, the top 10 strengths.
Speaker B:And I recognized it right away because I also did this strength binder by Marcus Buckingham.
Speaker B:And I just wanted you to just elaborate on your.
Speaker B:On those first five, 10, whatever that you list and what they mean to you, because I know when I look at them, I know what they mean because I been.
Speaker B:I've been through the practice and I noticed a lot of similarities in our strengths.
Speaker B:So I thought I would ask you that because it intrigued me.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker A:I took Strength Finders the first time about 10 years ago, and my top two change position because my number one used to be competition, and now it's command.
Speaker A:And what's interesting about that is in the role that I have as a pastor and mission executive for the district, when I walk into a situation and I get to tell people some hard truths sometimes about where their situation is or even in difficult conversations, it seems to go better than I expected it to go when you're telling truth, because people receive it better because of the strength of command.
Speaker A:The competition part's fun because I was talking to someone who kind of going through the evaluation part, it's like, so you don't like to lose, do you?
Speaker A:You must be not real fun to play with, with your kids and stuff.
Speaker A:And we just had a week where we played games at camp and I won a couple times.
Speaker A:And it's like I was insufferable to win, to play against.
Speaker A:But some of the other.
Speaker A:Some of the other skills and gifts that strengths that I have is being able to kind of see around the corner and see things that are going to happen in the direction that our organization is going or even a ministry is going, which is sometimes for me hard because I can kind of get a sense for where this is going before other people do.
Speaker A:And how do you bring people along and still be like you talk about being positive and encouraging about the direction.
Speaker A:It also makes it harder for me sometimes to enjoy the moment because I'm always going for what's the next thing I should be doing.
Speaker A:How do I keep making the organization better?
Speaker A:How do I keep striving for excellence in everything?
Speaker A:So it's kind of hard to just kind of stop and go, hey, let me just enjoy this moment.
Speaker A:Let's enjoy this economy accomplishment.
Speaker A:I had to teach myself and my group when I was leading people.
Speaker A:You got to give people a chance to celebrate the wins.
Speaker A:You're on to the next thing, but they need the chance to kind of stop and celebrate win.
Speaker A:So, yeah, it's been very helpful to kind of know those things about yourself.
Speaker B:Yeah, and I think so too, because mine also, they were very spot on.
Speaker B:And actually I talked.
Speaker B:I had an early morning appointment and I Talked to someone, she has it on her desk and, and she also said she used to be Woo number one, but now Wu is number six and positivity is number one.
Speaker B:And I can actually see that in her.
Speaker B:You know, it's, it's, it's just interesting how answering all those questions and they're able to figure out which are your strengths.
Speaker B:And with our strengths, you know, there's also the balconies.
Speaker B:There's the, there's the good and the bad to each one.
Speaker B:But you know, and, and being able to read it and understand it really helps you have perspective on how you can tweak the little things to make yourself even better.
Speaker B:Because the whole idea is to become a better version of ourselves.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And any tools that we can learn and do and grow.
Speaker B:I think it's fantastic because I don't believe in failure.
Speaker B:I relabeled failure.
Speaker B:I call it education and growth.
Speaker B:Because we just have to keep learning to get better and we have to not be so hard on ourselves in the process.
Speaker B:Again, I say give ourselves grace.
Speaker B:And obviously with the competition, you've given yourself grace not to have to win at everything.
Speaker B:And I'm the same way.
Speaker B:I used to be a lot like that.
Speaker B:And now, you know, it's putting things in perspective.
Speaker A:So tell me how you live out your life with your strengths.
Speaker A:Turn the question back around on you.
Speaker B:Yeah, well, well, my, my top, my top six are strategic.
Speaker B:Achiever.
Speaker B:I'm still an achiever.
Speaker B:I just do it differently.
Speaker B:Responsibility.
Speaker B:I am very responsible.
Speaker B:I mean if somebody asked me to do something, I, I like hop to, I, I can't help myself.
Speaker B:My husband always cautions me because, you know, I have to, I've learned not to promise the world.
Speaker B:You know, we learn to balance.
Speaker B:I think that's the key is learning to balance better understanding who you are.
Speaker B:After that, it's empathy, which I'm very proud proud of because I really think the world needs more empathy and caring people.
Speaker B:And then number five, and I'm not surprised because I'm an artist as well.
Speaker B:That was my very first career and when I studied at college is ideation is being creative.
Speaker B:And then my sixth and I, I forget from there on is maximizer.
Speaker B:And I do try to do too much in a day.
Speaker B:And your maximizer too.
Speaker B:We try to do so much in a day.
Speaker B:And so knowing all these things ke Dr. Keith has helped me balance better and to allow myself not to be so hard on myself because I think that's where people get stuck.
Speaker B:You expect so much from yourself.
Speaker B:So you just stop and don't do anything or you just keep beating yourself up for things that you shouldn't bother because nothing will ever be perfect.
Speaker B:But the key is to try to enjoy each day in the best way we can.
Speaker B:To live your purpose, your passion, to like you do.
Speaker B:To just enjoy more and worry less and just make life just a little bit easier.
Speaker B:Get out of your own way.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:But I've also learned what boards not to serve on because of my strengths.
Speaker B:You know that that's some.
Speaker B:That's something to.
Speaker B:To think about too.
Speaker B:And, and I. Yeah, that's.
Speaker B:It's been a very helpful little tool, this strength finder.
Speaker B:If anybody's interested.
Speaker B:Of course they can.
Speaker B:They could look it up.
Speaker B:It's there.
Speaker B:I know corporations do it all the time.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So for my listeners who want to buy your book, Six Steps to Fewer Days that Suck, where can they find it and where can connect with you on social media?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah, I could.
Speaker B:Here's, here's, here's the book Six Steps to Fewer Days that Suck.
Speaker B:It's bright, the Yellow is the sunshine.
Speaker B:And it's, it's on Amazon.
Speaker B:It'll be in bookstores soon enough, but right now it's on Amazon and it's easy enough because there's no other book called Six Steps.
Speaker B:The number six to Fewer Days that Suck.
Speaker B:And also my website is of course, you know what it is.
Speaker B:The Daily Decisions decisions with an s.com and if your listeners go to the daily decisions with that s the dailydecisions.com forward/inspire, they can join my positive energy club.
Speaker B:It's free.
Speaker B:That's not the coaching.
Speaker B:But you get newsletters.
Speaker B:You have these downloadable sheets.
Speaker B:Happiness worksheet, motivation worksheet, Feel good activities, little things we did.
Speaker B:Dr. Keith and I talked about little things you can do to distract and get rid of the grumpies.
Speaker B:So and, and if you want to chat with me, there's buttons on my website to send me an email and I'm on LinkedIn, Instagram, Instagram, LinkedIn is my name.
Speaker B:Instagram is daily dot decisions.
Speaker B:And I'm just every place else the daily decisions.
Speaker B:So yeah, and I'm known as a ray of sunshine and to say thank you, Dr. Keith, for having me on.
Speaker B:I'm putting on my sunshine crown.
Speaker A:Well, Deborah, thank you for being array of sunshine on my podcast today.
Speaker A:Have a, have a blessed day and thank you so much for the conversation.
Speaker A:And what you do is so important.
Speaker A:Important.
Speaker A:We need to learn more about being resilient and to be able to live in the moment and enjoy the fact that every day is a gift.
Speaker A:So thank you for reminding us of that.
Speaker B:Thank you, Dr. Keith, and.
Speaker B:And everybody hugs and.
Speaker B:And give yourself a hug every day and learn to appreciate yourself.
Speaker B:Because as we said, you are a gift.
Speaker B:Believe it.
Speaker A:Thank you.
