Episode 122
Embrace Discomfort: Transform Your Life Beyond the Comfort Zone with Dr. Axa Yox
The podcast features a thought-provoking conversation about stepping out of our so-called "comfort zones" and recognizing them for what they truly are—often unhealthy and unfulfilling spaces. Dr. Yox emphasizes that labeling these zones as "comfortable" can lead to self-sabotage, as our minds are wired to seek safety rather than happiness. Through personal anecdotes and insights, they explore strategies for overcoming fear and embracing discomfort as a catalyst for growth. The discussion also highlights the significance of failure as a stepping stone to success, encouraging listeners to redefine their relationship with failure and to learn from their experiences. Ultimately, the episode is a powerful reminder that personal transformation begins with honesty about our circumstances and the courage to take action toward meaningful change.
A thought-provoking discussion unfolds in this podcast, centered on moving beyond one's comfort zone to achieve personal and professional growth. The guest, a transformative figure in the field of personal development, shares insights from her book that challenge the traditional notion of comfort. He argues that what many label as their comfort zone is often a space of stagnation and unfulfillment. Through engaging storytelling, she illustrates how embracing discomfort can lead to significant breakthroughs in various aspects of life. The conversation emphasizes the importance of reframing failure as an opportunity for learning rather than a setback, encapsulated in the philosophy of ‘failing fast,’ which encourages rapid experimentation and adaptation.
Throughout the episode, listeners are invited to reflect on their definitions of failure and success as the guest shares her experiences of overcoming challenges that once seemed insurmountable. The dialogue explores the psychological barriers people create to justify remaining in their comfort zones, urging individuals to confront the discomfort accompanying change. She advocates for a proactive approach to personal growth, highlighting the necessity of taking risks and learning from the outcomes, whether they are successes or failures.
The episode culminates in practical advice for listeners seeking to step outside their comfort zones. Dr. Yox encourages a mindset shift, suggesting the real danger lies in inaction and complacency. By recognizing the value in discomfort and reframing one’s relationship with failure, individuals can unleash their potential and embark on transformative journeys. This rich conversation provides listeners with actionable strategies for personal development and inspires them to embrace the messiness of growth as an integral part of their life journey.
Dr. Axa Yox has a master's degree in physiology, a specialty diploma in Biotechnology from the International University, PhD in microbiology with a focus on genetics.
Takeaways:
- Comfort zones often mask unhappiness; labeling them as comfortable can sabotage our growth.
- Failure is not the end but a necessary step in learning and growth.
- Surrounding ourselves with the right people can significantly influence our success and mindset.
- Understanding and acknowledging our emotions is crucial in breaking unhealthy patterns in life.
- Our past experiences shape our current actions, often unconsciously repeating learned behaviors.
- Words carry power; changing our vocabulary can shift our mindset and self-perception.
Transcript
Well, Doc, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker A:How are you doing today?
Speaker B:I'm doing fine.
Speaker B:Thank you for hosting me.
Speaker A:I'm looking forward to this conversation.
Speaker A:I gotta figure, make me uncomfortable just by the title of your book.
Speaker B:Let's stop being comfortable.
Speaker A:I know.
Speaker A:Let's stop.
Speaker A:All right, so we're gonna get into your being uncomfortable.
Speaker A:I'm gonna ask you an uncomfortable question first.
Speaker A:What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
Speaker B:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker B:Oh, wow.
Speaker B:That's kind of to start with fail fast.
Speaker B:Fail fast.
Speaker B:That was the best advice that I.
Speaker B:Not the best, but still, it was the kind of the start for the transformation because I.
Speaker B:I heard that before, and I learned through the life also, I kind of adjusted.
Speaker B:That worked for me better.
Speaker B:So it's not just simply fail fast.
Speaker B:It's if you have some idea or anything that you just nurture in your head, it's going to transform and change 99%.
Speaker B:And in many cases, whatever you have in your head, it could not work out.
Speaker B:So fail fast is try and see if it works, then it's perfect.
Speaker B:If it needs adjustment, then adjust, try, maybe fail again, and repeat the cycle.
Speaker B:Sometimes it just simply doesn't work.
Speaker B:So remove from your head and continue with what works.
Speaker A:That's really critical.
Speaker A:When I was working in my congregation, one of the things we practiced and I wanted to really celebrate was don't be afraid to fail.
Speaker A:Because if we're not, if we're afraid to fear, we'll never try anything difficult.
Speaker A:And we even celebrated failure.
Speaker A:We learned from our failure, and we said, okay, we don't do that again or we'll do it differently next time.
Speaker A:We'll try it again.
Speaker A:But we don't ever want people to stop trying, because when you try and you fail, like you said, you grow from those experiences.
Speaker B:Failure has so many levels and layers, you would be amazed.
Speaker B:First of all, how do you define failure for me?
Speaker B:Not trying.
Speaker B:For some person trying, not achieving what the goal was, that's the failure.
Speaker B:So it depends how you determine the failure.
Speaker B:Second, you might fail at this moment because you didn't have enough knowledge, skills, whatever the end goal is, sometimes the end goal is the wrong for you.
Speaker B:Even because we all had this goal we achieved, and then we were like, this is.
Speaker B:Or that, that we get.
Speaker B:Seriously, why did I even spend my time on that?
Speaker B:So learning through your own experience, don't attach yourself to the end goal as it is.
Speaker B:Just go with the flow and see how it can change.
Speaker B:That's it.
Speaker B:Sometimes the end goal, whatever you Saw as you saw.
Speaker B:And when it converts, changes through turns to be something different, it might be even better than you started with.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:Good point.
Speaker A:I'm curious.
Speaker A:I read your bio and you've had an impressive career, but tell us a little bit about some of the people in your life who serve to be an inspiration for you or a mentor along your journey.
Speaker B:I will mention definitely my parents.
Speaker B:My father.
Speaker B:My dad, he.
Speaker B:He used to tell me this phrase, which stuck with me for my entire life, though I don't have him at the moment.
Speaker B:And I really miss this.
Speaker B:Don't be scared.
Speaker B:So that was the phrase that I heard since I was a child.
Speaker B:And every time when I would start with something, I had that in my head, like, don't be scared.
Speaker B:I knew that I have him at my back.
Speaker B:So kind of the protection.
Speaker B:And even if you fail, you still have the plan, place to be back and to be loved as you are with all your failures.
Speaker B:Maybe that was the reason that I never.
Speaker B:I was never scared to fail because I had that encouragement.
Speaker B:Like, failed.
Speaker B:Yeah, we have your back.
Speaker B:And my mom once, because I believe I got my temper from my dad.
Speaker B:If I don't like something, I just quit.
Speaker B:I don't tolerate so much, but because I was jumping from one company to another.
Speaker B:So she said, unless you become irreplaceable, you can never raise your voice and achieve what you want to achieve.
Speaker B:So before you become the professional, it's easier to fight against you versus when you become.
Speaker B:So she pushed me to become someone, somebody really at the top of my capacity.
Speaker B:And that's the best advice that I received.
Speaker B:And then I learned about Tony Robbins.
Speaker B:He really shaped the destiny that I am moving forward.
Speaker B:Then I learned about different mentors, and I followed their advices.
Speaker B:One of the advices that I received, not personally, it was online, obviously, from Juiz Hois.
Speaker B:He said he was telling about his story, and I was like, that's brilliant.
Speaker B:So he was telling how he went somewhere and he failed for the first time, the second time, the third.
Speaker B:And that stuck with me, like, be fine to be first of all embarrassed that it's not going to work out for the first time because you are not as skilled.
Speaker B:So just keep trying, come to the point to polish, but don't polish the ideas in your head.
Speaker B:So the main idea is don't polish anything in your head because in reality, it might be so different.
Speaker B:You would be amazed.
Speaker A:Wow, that's great.
Speaker A:It's funny, I did an interview with one of Tony Robinson's firewalker people and we did a whole episode on how he's now doing firewalks for people.
Speaker A:And he said that was that fire walk with Tony Robbles changed his life.
Speaker A:So small world.
Speaker B:It's such a small world.
Speaker B:And I believe the words of wisdom.
Speaker B:Even sometimes we have those words, but not in the proper sequence.
Speaker B:They just circulate.
Speaker B:Again.
Speaker B:Don't keep anything in your head because if you have the idea of doing something and you don't execute, it's just simply the idea.
Speaker B:And sometimes you do.
Speaker B:You had very different expectations.
Speaker B:And then once you put on the paper, you, you are stuck at your own idea with like, oh my goodness, how stupid I was even about that.
Speaker B:So hey, don't take life as serious as we normally take versus we don't, we don't sort out what we have to be serious about and what we shouldn't be so serious about.
Speaker B:The things that take just only one shot and you can make the fatal mistake versus the things that can take several attempts before you achieve what you attempted to achieve.
Speaker B:So those are the two things that we have to flip and consider what can be fatal.
Speaker B:Like the, the mistake that I may make, it's irreversible.
Speaker B:So we cannot change anything versus okay, I, I screw up something, it's okay, I tried.
Speaker B:I didn't match my goal.
Speaker B:I can either shift the goal or I can shift the, the way, the path that I achieve the goal.
Speaker B:That's it, nothing more.
Speaker B:Life, it's not that critical unless we make it critical.
Speaker B:And if there is a chance to change something, try.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:So tell us about your background.
Speaker A:Give us your.
Speaker A:Walk us through your career and to where you are now.
Speaker B:I started as a biologist because I was in love with nature.
Speaker B:Since I was a child, though I always was telling that I would never become a scientist.
Speaker B:I became a scientist.
Speaker B:I was very successful and after 15 years with school, kind of achieving nearly everything that I could, all the, the degrees, multiple high rank scholarships, even winning the first award prize, being nominated as a person of extraordinary ability, 12 inventions.
Speaker B:I decided that I was ready for the regular life.
Speaker B:I quit academia and I failed miserably.
Speaker B:I failed so, so bad.
Speaker B:And at the same time I was going through kind of family and personal trauma.
Speaker B:It was very dark time for me.
Speaker B:But I kept going because first of all, I didn't see any other option for myself.
Speaker B:Sometimes you just need to move because the place where I was was so painful that I couldn't stay there.
Speaker B:So that was the push for me, the motivation just to move from where the darkness that.
Speaker B:That I was.
Speaker B:And then I just.
Speaker B:Life prepared the completely sharp turn for me I didn't expect.
Speaker B:I transformed my life in one second, though.
Speaker B:It took me four years of deep analysis to realize why I was in the dark place where I was.
Speaker B:And there was a reason I didn't see before.
Speaker B:So it took me four years of a deep analysis.
Speaker B:I published the book because I wanted also to help other people, not to be in the darkness where I was because of the sequence of my actions.
Speaker B:I just wanted to prevent this.
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker B:Because while I was going through the darkness, the only thing that kept me going were the stories of other people.
Speaker B:How they feel, how bad it was for them.
Speaker B:So with the manuscript in my hand, I was sitting and I was like, it's so personal.
Speaker B:Do I want Ivan to send the message to the world?
Speaker B:And then it was just only the tiny voice inside of my head repeating, if not the stories that other people shared, you wouldn't be here today.
Speaker B:So what if your story helps somebody to survive while they go through the darkness?
Speaker B:That was the responsibility for me even.
Speaker B:It's very personal and it's a story of the complete failure.
Speaker B:It's not a funny story to share, but the responsibility before even saving one life, why not?
Speaker B:That was the message that I kept through the year.
Speaker B:This year when I published the book, I started to podcast and to share the wisdom that I learned through my dark times, that I went through and what helped me.
Speaker B:And as it turned out, it's not the goal that shapes us.
Speaker B:Our destiny is the excuse that we hold ourselves on top.
Speaker B:That was the biggest discovery for myself, that if you have the goal, but you don't move towards, and you keep repeating the excuses, it's not the goal that shapes your destiny, it's the excuse, unfortunately.
Speaker B:But if it can help anyone, I am happy with that.
Speaker A:So the name of your book is Stop calling it Comfort Zone.
Speaker A:What's the overall and main message of your book?
Speaker B:The message is when you call the zone where you are unhappy, unhealthy and unfulfilled to be a comfort zone, you signal your brain that being unhappy, unhealthy and unfulfilled is comfortable for you.
Speaker B:In that case, your brain will sabotage yourself.
Speaker B:Because by nature, we are designed to.
Speaker B:The nature designed us to keep us safe, not happy.
Speaker B:Because from the very beginning, the nature, first of all, didn't design humans to dominate in the world.
Speaker B:To have eight billions, obviously, to.
Speaker B:To have such a long lifespan.
Speaker B:And so nature created also the coping mechanism to.
Speaker B:To kind of balance the nature and we are part of the nature, so the nature is not part of humans.
Speaker B:And when you learn all this coping mechanism and you understand that even sabotaging yourself is the part of the pattern that you learned over the decades without even realizing when you were a child.
Speaker B:And the patterns, they just pile up over the time before your cautious mind is able even to analyze the situation and help you otherwise.
Speaker B:Then you learn to numb your feelings and then group the feelings.
Speaker B:And then once you have the subject related, like the category that you numbed, like all the relationships are toxic or not working out, like people can be this.
Speaker B:So when you generalize the things like the matter wise, then you attach the feeling to that.
Speaker B:And then once you go to this group, you activate that emotion and you just dive directly to that pattern of the actions other like the following actions.
Speaker B:And that's what you need to break.
Speaker B:Because whatever emotion comes from the external world, we have the internal reaction.
Speaker B:And the internal reaction has three layers.
Speaker B:So the first is the hormones, which no one can influence because this is designed by nature to keep us safe.
Speaker B:And then the second layer is the neurotransmitters, because once you have the shift in your biochemistry as hormones, then your body gives the reaction as neurotransmitters once we assess the situation.
Speaker B:But where you can break the pattern is between the first reaction with the neurotransmitters.
Speaker B:Once you assess the situation based on your experience, which comes from your childhood, you have the ability to influence and to create the second reaction with better assessment.
Speaker B:Okay, this is sad, but I can survive, I'm not going to die.
Speaker B:And this is where you can rewire your brain.
Speaker B:Because if you are stuck between the hormones, which is the first reaction of your body once you have the emotion and the reaction which was built through the decades based on your experience, if you are stuck in this between these two levels, you will never break your pattern.
Speaker B:The breaking pattern and rewiring your brain happens when you have the first assessment and you can change that assessment and stop feeding the negative emotions and overfeed the positive emotions.
Speaker B:And then you balance your reaction.
Speaker A:So what he was saying is sometimes what we call a comfort zone, it's just a coping mechanism to not deal with something that's painful for us.
Speaker A:And in order to break that, we have to get the right assessment to realize, no, this thing you call a comfort zone really is dealing with damage and pain in your life.
Speaker A:So you have to break that pattern to realize that really this is not a comfort zone.
Speaker A:This is not a safe place for me, but it's actually a negative place.
Speaker A:How hard is it to get to rewire our minds to realize this is doing us damage?
Speaker B:I believe once you start telling yourself the truth, that will set you free.
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker B:Because if you have this habit to create the fancy words, let's say we created this comfort zone, the fancy word to explain why we procrastinate.
Speaker B:We created even the second fancy word to justify why we procrastinate.
Speaker B:I'm trying to make it perfect.
Speaker B:No, we are just procrastinating.
Speaker B:Nice, right?
Speaker B:But it takes work to realize why am I trying to make it perfect?
Speaker B:Because first of all, we are scared to fail.
Speaker B:If we fail, then all the spiraling thoughts that come together with the association, what does failure mean for you?
Speaker B:And then you just procrastinate.
Speaker B:But you justify to yourself, oh, I'm trying to make it perfect.
Speaker B:No, you just procrastinate.
Speaker B:And the moment that you stop pretending that you do something different, because inaction is also action is passive action while you just do something else, right?
Speaker B:Wasting time is the action.
Speaker B:You just don't do anything which you benefit from when you flip and you see the reality as it is.
Speaker B:Not worse, not bad, better.
Speaker B:But still the constructive criticism is something that will help you because you know what you are dealing with.
Speaker B:Do you procrastinate?
Speaker B:Do you try to make it perfect?
Speaker B:Or you just simply try to find any fancy word to justify that you.
Speaker B:You prefer in action?
Speaker A:So what are some practical steps to help people or exercises that you recommend for people to step out of that comfort zone, out of that coping mechanism, that safe space to start looking at life with a more realistic lens?
Speaker B:For me, I found the innovative kind of technique which helped me to rewire because I was stuck with the need in certainty Again, I was going through really very hard times.
Speaker B:I didn't have anything certain.
Speaker B:Then I moved to live in the new country without all the safety net that I was used to.
Speaker B:So I changed how I saw the certainty to the point to make my life so boring on purpose, intentionally, that my body raised the tolerance and adapted to something which was fearful for me.
Speaker B:So by doing these exercises from day to day and for weeks and months, it helped me to see a bigger picture.
Speaker B:Not be scared of the biochemistry which was associated with the fear.
Speaker B:And then I could execute faster.
Speaker B:Because you need to rewire your biochemistry.
Speaker B:Let's say once you try something smooth, sweet, the first time, you like it, the second time it gets you.
Speaker B:You learn, you adapt and you feel it less, less, less, less, until you Come to the point, you need to have more sweets to enjoy it more, right?
Speaker B:But once you break that and you bring your biochemistry to you, nullify your biochemistry to the point that there are no sp spikes of entertainment or something which is not beneficial for you.
Speaker B:Because your biochemistry, again your biochemistry doesn't understand.
Speaker B:There is no connection between your biochemistry on hormone, hormonal level and the cautious mind.
Speaker B:There is no analyze.
Speaker B:So once you have these spikes or satisfaction, your body starts to fool yourself that you had perfect day.
Speaker B:And then you go through the days with these spikes of satisfaction without having the benefits.
Speaker B:And then you start the year with the same list of the goals that you want to achieve.
Speaker B:And you end your year with nearly 90% of the same goals that you want to achieve.
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker B:Because your biochemistry, you have these spikes and your body reads that you had fulfilled life while you had F double O L life.
Speaker B:Like you fooled your body that you had perfect day.
Speaker B:This is what you need to change, exclude or all the spikes where your body reads that you achieved something which is not beneficial for you.
Speaker B:So if you have bigger picture, let's say you have bigger picture, you want to create a business, you want to create meaningful relationship.
Speaker B:So your body will have the spike when you achieve that, right?
Speaker B:But if you go through the different events, you are very active on social media, let's say, which is not beneficial for you, you just watch funny movies, fun videos, whatever, right?
Speaker B:Your body still produces this biochemistry.
Speaker B:So through the day you have these spikes, the spike, your body reads that you achieved the goal because you still had the dopamine, you had this dopamine, which is neurotoxin by the way, it's not the hormone of happiness or serotonin, whatever your body produces, you fool your body that you achieved something while you didn't achieve the bigger goal.
Speaker B:That's why you have to exclude those spikes of the meat, so called meaningful satisfaction, which is not beneficial for you.
Speaker B:Once you nullify and you don't have the spikes, your body would come to the point like what the hell is happening?
Speaker B:I am bored here.
Speaker B:And then it will shift your your and then you will exit because you will raise your tolerance towards the fear.
Speaker B:Now, step by step, you exclude those tiny spikes of satisfaction through the non meaningful activities.
Speaker B:But you together with this you raise your tolerance towards the biochemistry of fear.
Speaker B:And then you execute because you come to the point when there is a cross between the certainty, the fear and being bored.
Speaker B:And that's where you don't want to be.
Speaker B:That's the initial point.
Speaker B:You will execute to avoid being there for any day.
Speaker A:I'm curious, as you have studied this, do you see a difference in how different cultures deal with comfort and discomfort?
Speaker B:100%.
Speaker B:Because five people you surround yourself with are going to not control, but influence how you would execute.
Speaker B:Because how you do anything is how you do everything.
Speaker B:If you surround yourself with people.
Speaker B:I was in science and in science you normally deal with people who are very curious to work on particular topics.
Speaker B:But scientists are not financially oriented people.
Speaker B:In science, there is no failure.
Speaker B:If you had some theory you tried, you just say it didn't work, it doesn't work.
Speaker B:It's completely different in business.
Speaker B:In business you fail, period.
Speaker B:But because I was in science for 15 years and I was surrounded with those people, this is the attitude that I tried to manifest in business and it didn't work.
Speaker B:I failed miserably.
Speaker B:So be meaningful.
Speaker B:Of five people you surround yourself.
Speaker B:Money wise, relationship wise, health wise, fit wise, and wisdom wise.
Speaker B:So those are the people that will bring the standard for your group.
Speaker B:And this is where you will tend to be within the next one year or for the coming 10 years, whatever time you dedicate to spend with them.
Speaker A:And you were writing this book, what was the most surprising thing you discovered from writing it?
Speaker B:For me, it was interesting because I was searching for the answer how to let the past go.
Speaker B:I was very stuck and listening to the motivational videos like let the past go.
Speaker B:It didn't work for me.
Speaker B:And I was like, just stop repeating that question.
Speaker B:It, it, it's not only it did, it was ineffective for me, it was pissing me off.
Speaker B:And I was curious, how is it possible that some, some phrase which worked for millions, it didn't work for me?
Speaker B:Am I that special or did I have something very special before that happened to me?
Speaker B:As it turned out, you are just stuck because you don't know what you let go.
Speaker B:And unless you know what you let go.
Speaker B:It took me four years to discover what I needed to let go.
Speaker B:And it took me one second to let it go.
Speaker B:It was the blame from the childhood that I carried through all these years.
Speaker B:And after I was like, wow, that's kind of.
Speaker B:And we all, not all, but many of us who are stuck, stuck.
Speaker B:You are stuck because you don't know what's happening with you, why you keep repeating the same pattern.
Speaker B:Even you think that you do act differently, but you still repeat the same action with the different people.
Speaker B:And for me, one of another discoveries was that we repeat the pattern of the relationship completely the same that we Learned from our family.
Speaker B:Let's say if the child grew up in the family where there was affair, the chances that she will repeat the same challenging relationship, she will not go with the partner who can just walk out on her.
Speaker B:How is it even possible that we choose our pain as well?
Speaker B:It's not very logical, right?
Speaker B:So I learned through the analysis that somehow we gave the promise to ourselves that it will not repeat in our life.
Speaker B:So we are so conditioned to prove that somebody was wrong from our childhood that we repeat the same pattern to prove the person to be wrong that it's possible to change it.
Speaker B:We are so stuck in that moment which we want to change something that we repeat to be able to change it while it's simply meaningless because you waste your time.
Speaker B:And then second, there was something else that was impossible to change.
Speaker B:Just understand why you repeat the challenging relationship.
Speaker B:What do you want to prove if there is something that you are trying to prove?
Speaker B:And what is the end goal for you if there is no meaning?
Speaker B:Find the answer and move on.
Speaker B:Don't let go.
Speaker B:I will never give the advice anyone.
Speaker B:Let go.
Speaker B:Understand?
Speaker B:What do you need to let go?
Speaker B:You will let go in one second.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:So after you've done this, what are future projects are you working on?
Speaker B:I'm actually preparing myself for the TEDx talk because while I was failing over and over again and we all know that the meaningful actions start with finding your why.
Speaker B:I had my why, but it seemed like it was not working.
Speaker B:And I was like, how is it even possible that the why doesn't work?
Speaker B:It made no sense for me.
Speaker B:Well, that's something that I took from science.
Speaker B:How to analyze the situation and the research and everything that exists.
Speaker B:So it was very beneficial what I learned.
Speaker B:And I found the piece of the puzzle which is just missing over there.
Speaker B:It is scientifically backed and it explains how is it even possible that you know your why but your why doesn't work?
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:Should be a great TED talk.
Speaker B:I hope for that.
Speaker B:Fingers crossed.
Speaker A:So I'm curious, doc, where would you like your legacy to be?
Speaker B:I'm working with the females, especially the successful business owners, to help them to remove the toxicity from their life.
Speaker B:Especially if they carry that mindset of them being not worthy of love since they were a child and they just project it in their own relationship and they cannot find the right part partner for them.
Speaker B:I am very passionate about helping women to live their full potential, not only at work and in business and to reach not the highest, even to the roof and like to the moon and back.
Speaker B:But to find their true love and purpose in the relationship and live exceptional love story story they deserve.
Speaker A:Wow, that's a neat.
Speaker A:That's a new vision.
Speaker A:So as you wrap up our a phenomenal conversation, what key takeaways do you want to leave with the audience?
Speaker A:From our conversation today?
Speaker B:I want to speak about two things.
Speaker B:Very short.
Speaker B:So unfair advantage.
Speaker B:The world being unfair.
Speaker B:And it will always be.
Speaker B:But we normally kind of complain when the world is unfair in our favor, right?
Speaker B:If the world kind of unfair in our favor, we would never sit there and say oh, I didn't deserve the A degree, the the grade.
Speaker B:No, I worked so hard.
Speaker B:But it's not fair to somebody who didn't study that well why they didn't get the A.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:We would be like, no, I worked hard.
Speaker B:So whenever the world is unfair, this is where your unfair advantage is.
Speaker B:Because you don't want the world to be fair.
Speaker B:Otherwise you work so hard to achieve something and somebody who did nothing, they will achieve the same result.
Speaker B:This is where your unfair advantage is.
Speaker B:Just move a little bit faster, tweak something, do something differently and reach what the other person can.
Speaker B:Because that's wherever the life is unfair.
Speaker B:This is where unfair advantage is.
Speaker B:And the second is stop using the word help.
Speaker B:Because when we ask for the help, unless we really need help, it fills your body with the emotions that you need help.
Speaker B:And once you don't receive the help, you start to feel yourself helpless.
Speaker B:At certain point if you keep repeating yourself, I need help, I need help, I need help.
Speaker B:Over the time you fill yourself with the emotions of being helpless, powerless.
Speaker B:If you need assistance, ask for the assistance.
Speaker B:If you need guidance, ask for the guidance.
Speaker B:You need advice, ask for the advice.
Speaker B:Don't ask for help.
Speaker B:Stop manifesting that you are helpless.
Speaker B:Bring the awareness to the words that you express and how you associate the words in yourself.
Speaker B:So that would be the best advice that I can give somebody.
Speaker B:Just watch your words, the vocabulary that you use and what do I associate with that?
Speaker B:And then life will change.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:Where can people find your book?
Speaker A:Stop calling it comfort zone.
Speaker A:Be uncomfortable to be.
Speaker A:To be uncomfortable to be comfortable.
Speaker B:It is on Amazon but at the say at the moment I have the Same book for 90% discount for the magical season so they can get it on my personal page with just only with really very very affordable price.
Speaker B:So go get the book if you are interested because the technique, the innovative technique, how to stop the procrastination is described in details in the book.
Speaker A:And give us your website and where I can find you.
Speaker A:On social media?
Speaker B:Yes, on social media.
Speaker B:I'm very active on LinkedIn.
Speaker B:LinkedIn is my priority platform.
Speaker B:And then Facebook and give us a.
Speaker A:Give us your website address.
Speaker B:I'll send the website address.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:Well, thank you so much for sharing this and hopefully we can all learn to be a little less comfortable, especially when those comfort zones are not healthy for us, but they are safe space.
Speaker A:So it's our coping mechanism for the pain of our past.
Speaker A:So yeah, it's nice for us to move the honor because those sitting in that comfort zone does not help us mature and grow and develop and become the person that God made us to be.
Speaker B:Thanks for hosting me and happy coming holidays.
Speaker B:Believe in magic, believe in miracle and it will happen.
Speaker A:Thank you so much, Doc.
Speaker A:You have a blessed new year.
Speaker B:You too.
Speaker B:Thank you.
