Episode 129
Unveiling Resilience: Dr. Steven Seiderhoff on Mastering Stress and Longevity
Today, we engage with Dr. Steven Seiderhoff, a distinguished psychologist and esteemed professor at UCLA, who has made significant contributions to the fields of resilience and transformational psychology. Central to our discourse is his recently published tome, "The Nine Pillars of the Proven Path to Master Stress, Slow Aging, and Increased Vitality." Dr. Seiderhoff elucidates his innovative approach to resilience, derived from both personal experience and extensive research, emphasizing the necessity of maintaining a balanced and mindful existence amidst the tumult of daily stressors. Throughout our conversation, we explore the intricate relationship between resilience and optimal functioning, as well as the profound implications for longevity and well-being. Join us as we delve into the transformative insights offered by Dr. Seiderhoff, which aim to empower individuals to navigate life's challenges with greater efficacy and grace.
In the latest episode of the podcast, Dr. Steven Seiderhoff, an esteemed psychologist and author, shares his profound insights on resilience, a cornerstone of psychological well-being. The conversation is anchored around his book, 'The Nine Pillars of the Proven Path to Master Stress, Slow Aging, and Increase Vitality', which delineates a comprehensive framework for fostering resilience in an increasingly complex world. Dr. Seiderhoff draws upon his extensive experience in psychological consultation and research to articulate the multifaceted nature of resilience, emphasizing that it is not a static trait but a dynamic skill that can be cultivated through intentional practices and self-reflection.
The episode delves into the nine pillars outlined in Dr. Seiderhoff's work, each representing a crucial element that contributes to an individual's capacity to cope with stress and adversity. He discusses the significance of self-relationship, advocating for a compassionate inner dialogue as the foundation for resilience. Furthermore, he highlights the importance of nurturing healthy relationships with others and fostering a sense of connection to something greater, which can provide a broader perspective on life’s challenges. The discussion also addresses the physiological aspects of resilience, linking emotional regulation to physical health and longevity, thereby underscoring the holistic nature of well-being.
As the conversation unfolds, Dr. Seiderhoff provides actionable strategies for listeners, emphasizing the need to engage in practices that promote emotional and physical balance. He encourages individuals to adopt a growth mindset, viewing challenges as opportunities for learning and development. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to actively engage in the pursuit of resilience, armed with the knowledge and tools provided by Dr. Seiderhoff. This enriching dialogue not only illuminates the path to greater resilience but also serves as a beacon of hope for those navigating the complexities of modern life.
Takeaways:
- Dr. Steven Seiderhoff emphasizes the importance of resilience in navigating life's challenges effectively and maintaining balance.
- His book outlines nine essential pillars that serve as a roadmap to mastering stress and enhancing overall vitality.
- The concept of neuroplasticity suggests that individuals can rewire their brains to foster resilience and adapt positively to stress.
- Seiderhoff highlights the significance of emotional balance, advocating for the resolution of unfinished emotional business to promote mental well-being.
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
My guest today is Dr.
Speaker A:Steven Seiderhoff, internationally renowned psychologist, consultant, and professor at UCLA, who has established innovative training and treatment programs around the world.
Speaker A:He has hosted summits on longevity, resilience, and leadership and published pioneering research in brain and behavior.
Speaker A:He is a thought leader called to speak on his groundbreaking approach to resilience, peak performance, and transformational psychology in his new book, the Nine Pillars of the Proven Path to Master Stress, Slow Aging, and Increased Volatility.
Speaker A:We want to talk to him about that today on the podcast.
Speaker A:We welcome Dr.
Speaker A:Seidenhoff to the podcast.
Speaker A:We welcome Dr.
Speaker A:Seidohoff to the podcast.
Speaker A:Well, Dr.
Speaker A:Steve, welcome to the podcast today.
Speaker A:How are you doing, my friend?
Speaker B:I'm doing great.
Speaker B:I must say.
Speaker B:After the fires of Los Angeles was a very challenging time, and we're sort of just coming.
Speaker B:Well, I'm just coming out of it.
Speaker B:Other people not as fortunate as me, I was evacuated and in the line of fire.
Speaker B:But so I was.
Speaker B:I was able to use all my resilience tools to handle that situation.
Speaker A:I was just going to say that your book probably comes in really handy for you as you had to live out resilience in action.
Speaker B:Right, right, exactly.
Speaker B:And in fact, that's really how I developed the book.
Speaker B:And the idea for the book is, you know, what's the best way to live each moment of your life?
Speaker B:And as I did, trial and error in my own life and in working with all of my clients, that became the foundation of the model for resilience.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:That's pretty cool.
Speaker A:Before we jump into your book a little more in depth, I want to ask you my favorite question.
Speaker A:Ask all my guests.
Speaker A:What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
Speaker B:You know, the best piece of advice I received was from one of my early mentors.
Speaker B:His name was Donald Hebb, and he was one of the pioneers of.
Speaker B:Of neuroscience.
Speaker B:And he.
Speaker B:He coined the term neurons that fire together, wire together.
Speaker A:Love that.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:And that was.
Speaker B:That was the biggest piece of.
Speaker B:Of information when we were working together.
Speaker B:And he said to me, make that the foundation of your life, because where you put your focus, where you put your time, where you put your energy, that's how your brain is going to follow.
Speaker B:Amazing.
Speaker B:Appropriate for all of us.
Speaker A:That is so helpful as a good reminder for all of us to keep that and keep that in the forefront of our minds, Right?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Where you place your focus and place your time, your brain is going to follow in that direction.
Speaker B:So make sure you're going in the direction you want to be going.
Speaker A:In exactly.
Speaker A:We sort of touched on it in our opening a little bit, but let's dig a little deeper.
Speaker A:So how does your personal story shape the narrative of your book?
Speaker B:Well, I would say that I've always taken the challenge, whatever's been in front of me, and always looked for ways to challenge myself.
Speaker B:But sometimes that could be very stressful, you know, sometimes that could be scary.
Speaker B:And so by taking that particular path myself, I've challenged myself to be able to do that while staying in a place of balance.
Speaker B:So anytime we challenge ourselves, it's going to throw us off balance.
Speaker B:Anytime we pick a difficult path, it's going to create some fear, some discomfort.
Speaker B:And so my path has always been about how do I do this and at the same time be able to fall asleep and get a good night's sleep and not be up in bed worrying or thinking about the challenges of the next day.
Speaker B:How do I.
Speaker B:For example, a few years ago, I decided that I wanted to expand the area that I worked in from resilience and helping people stay in this place of balance and realized that I wanted to be able to work with leaders.
Speaker B:Well, I was new to the field.
Speaker B:How do I do that?
Speaker B:So I decided I was going to do a summit on leadership.
Speaker B:So sort of a little bit brazen as not being in that field, but I decided that jump right into it.
Speaker B:And so I invited and wrote to leaders in the field of leadership.
Speaker B:And I was very fortunate to get some of the best experts and coaches in this field.
Speaker B:And I was being new to doing podcasts and summits.
Speaker B:I made the decision to do it live.
Speaker A:That was brave.
Speaker B:And so, you know, I scheduled Everybody for a 45 minute interview with me and I had 10 people lined up for.
Speaker B:On a.
Speaker B:It was a Tuesday and I never forget, I got all set up and I was getting ready to do a little bit of an intro before the first one.
Speaker B:And I was sitting there and I was thinking, Steve, what did you do?
Speaker B:You just, you just invited people and scheduled them throughout the day to.
Speaker B:To get on board with you live.
Speaker B:And then you just trusted that everybody was gonna show up and show up on time.
Speaker B:And if they didn't, this is live.
Speaker B:And, and I don't know, fortunately, everybody showed up throughout the day, all 10 of them, and they all showed up on time.
Speaker B:And, and so, you know, I put myself in those situations, but has challenged me to identify what's most important to be able to handle these situations with.
Speaker B:In a place of balance, to be able to recover balance.
Speaker B:After I put myself into, say, a situation like that.
Speaker B:And, you know, my book is the result of my own experience in having to do that.
Speaker B:And it covers all areas of our lives that impact how well we function, which is another definition in my terms of resilience, the functioning most optimally to use the energy of your body in the most optimal way to recover that energy.
Speaker B:Because we're not.
Speaker B:We don't have unlimited amounts of energy.
Speaker B:And we're always making choices where we send that energy.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:So tell us.
Speaker A:Give us an overview of the nine pillars of resilience, the proven path to master stress, slow aging, and increased vitality.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:And thank you for this opportunity.
Speaker B:Again, the first three pillars have to do with relationship.
Speaker B:And the first is your most important relationship in your life, your relationship with yourself.
Speaker B:And, you know, how do you treat yourself?
Speaker B:Are you critical, judge hard on yourself, or you are loving and accepting?
Speaker B:The second pillar is relationship with others.
Speaker B:And, you know, it's, do you live by the golden rule?
Speaker B:Do you treat others the way you would want them to treat you?
Speaker B:Can you discriminate between healthy relationships with toxic or unhealthy relationships?
Speaker B:If you're in a relationship with someone who might be critical with you, are you able to not allow those negative messages in to affect you?
Speaker B:And do you make appropriate choices in who you choose as friends?
Speaker B:The third pillar is relationship with something greater.
Speaker B:And here we're talking about spirituality.
Speaker B:We're talking about meaning and purpose in your life.
Speaker B:We're talking about giving service, we're talking about ways that you connect with the larger community.
Speaker B:This gives you a broader horizon to your life.
Speaker B:So daily hassles don't have the same impact on you.
Speaker B:And it also gives you opportunities in ways for creating hope.
Speaker B:The next three have to do with organismic balance and mastery.
Speaker B:The fourth pillar is physical balance and mastery.
Speaker B:You know, Reverend, if you think about your day, if people in the audience think about their day, we jump from one stress to another to another.
Speaker B:The challenges of life.
Speaker B:Am I going to be able to pay my bills?
Speaker B:Is this person going to like me?
Speaker B:You know, and that runs throughout the day.
Speaker B:And so we're continually triggering our stress response.
Speaker B:Now, our stress responses is a useful tool if we find our stress sweet spot.
Speaker B:But I challenge you.
Speaker B:Think about your day.
Speaker B:How many times in your day you have something that says you're safe, you can let down your guard, you can relax.
Speaker B:Most of us don't have that during our day.
Speaker B:We have stresses which activate the stress response, but we have very little that does the opposite.
Speaker B:Takes us into recovery.
Speaker B:Now, those two branches of our nervous system need to be imbalanced, but we're continually activating without recovering.
Speaker B:So physical balance and mastery is finding ways in your life and your day to practice relaxation, to practice turning on the parasympathetic recovery branch of the nervous system to stay in balance.
Speaker B:80%, approximately, and perhaps more.
Speaker B:Of doctor visits, office visits to the doctor are because this is out of balance.
Speaker B:And we refer to that as autonomic dysregulation syndrome.
Speaker B:Most illnesses are the result of that and being out of balance.
Speaker B:The fifth pillar, and this sometimes is where I begin people on the path of resilience.
Speaker B:The fifth pillar is mental balance and mastery.
Speaker B:This begins with having a growth mindset.
Speaker B:That means that if you find a shortcoming within you, you don't go, oh, I guess I just can't do it.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:With a growth mindset, you say, okay, what do I need to do to grow my ability in this area where I find a weakness?
Speaker B:So that you're always in a place of hope.
Speaker B:You're always in a place of challenging yourself to get better.
Speaker B:So mental balance and mastery is a growth mindset, and it's a focus on the positive.
Speaker B:The sixth pillar is emotional balance and mastery.
Speaker B:We all carry unfinished emotional business, you know, feelings from a situation, a relationship that we haven't resolved, and we're carrying it.
Speaker B:And sometimes, you know, we can be angry at somebody and we can refuse to let go of that anger.
Speaker B:And I would say to you, wait a second, you're angry at that person, but who's suffering by you carrying that anger?
Speaker B:You're the one suffering because it's impacting you, not the other person.
Speaker B:And so when you let go of this, you're not letting them off the hook, you're letting yourself off the hook.
Speaker B:Hook.
Speaker B:By the way, we now know that if you look at heart rate patterns, when you're in a loving, accepting, caring space, your heart rate goes into the perfect heart rate rhythm.
Speaker B:When you breathe in, your heart rate goes up.
Speaker B:When you breathe out, your heart rate goes down.
Speaker B:This nice sinusoidal rhythm we call coherence.
Speaker B:However, when you're in a state, a negative emotional state, anger, frustration, we see that that pattern becomes chaotic.
Speaker B:So it's a direct indication and showing of how our emotions directly affect our physiology.
Speaker B:Now, one other interesting thing about this, Keith.
Speaker B:If you and I were in the same room together and we, let's say we were standing next to each other and I took my EEG electroencephalogram machine and I put Electrodes on your scalp, I would be able to pick up my heart rate in your brain waves.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:Now let's put that fact together with what I just said about how our emotions affect our heart rate pattern.
Speaker B:And now you're picking that up in your brain.
Speaker B:Amazing.
Speaker B:That's why sometimes when you're with somebody, you get this good feeling.
Speaker B:And when you're with other people, it's sort of like, you know, let me create a little bit of distance between us.
Speaker B:The last three have to do with how we engage with the world.
Speaker B:The seventh one is presence.
Speaker B:How present am I?
Speaker B:Am I aware?
Speaker B:Or am I in my head worrying about something in the future or regretting something from the past taking me away from the contact boundary?
Speaker B:And being present and presence has two directions.
Speaker B:One is what I'm taking in, but the other is my presence.
Speaker B:What is the energy that I'm putting out into the world?
Speaker B:This.
Speaker B:The eighth is flexibility.
Speaker B:That's being able to adjust.
Speaker B:You know, obstacles are always put in our.
Speaker B:In our path.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so flexibility is to me, let me adjust my goal so I'm more likely to achieve it because this obstacle is in my way.
Speaker B:Let me adjust my.
Speaker B:What I'm doing to achieve that.
Speaker B:It's also flexibility of perspective.
Speaker B:Can I put myself in somebody else's shoes and see the world from that perspective?
Speaker B:And finally, my ninth pillar is I call power, which I define as the ability to get things done.
Speaker B:So that's the ability to have focus, a goal, concentration, persistence, to raise my courage above my fear so I could take action.
Speaker B:There you have it, the whole kit and caboodle.
Speaker B:And my book outlines the path.
Speaker B:This is an approach to achieve greater resilience and success.
Speaker B:Because the goal of my book is not just to lay out this information, it's to get results, is to put it in a step by step process that helps people overcome their resistance and, and stay with the program, so to speak, so they actually get great results.
Speaker A:That's awesome.
Speaker A:As we were, as we began, before we started the podcast, we were talking about the situation in California and I'm just kind of curious, what is the best mindset for greater resilience?
Speaker A:Just thinking about people who may be in that situation or kind of dealing with something like that, is there a mindset that gets you into the best place for the greatest resilience?
Speaker B:Well, I like to say that the first step, because some people, and particularly right now, you have people who have lost their homes and lost everything that they have.
Speaker B:I was fortunate the fires were coming right toward My neighborhood in Topanga Canyon.
Speaker B:And I went to sleep one night.
Speaker B:I was.
Speaker B:I came back from.
Speaker B:I was in Belize when the fire started.
Speaker B:I came back.
Speaker B:I wasn't able to get home.
Speaker B:I had to stay with a friend.
Speaker B:And I went to sleep one night not knowing whether my house would still be there the next.
Speaker B:The next morning.
Speaker B:And the first step in being resilient is to realize that there's always.
Speaker B:No matter what the circumstances, there's always a best way.
Speaker B:When you take that approach, it helps you move from the despair and all the things that are wrong.
Speaker B:Of course, you have to go through a process, and this is part of the best way.
Speaker B:If you have emotions that are coming up because of this tragedy or for anybody in their lives, the first step is to acknowledge your emotions.
Speaker B:They are real, and there's no right or wrong to emotions if they're there.
Speaker B:You need to honor your emotions, allow yourself to feel them, but you have to give them a time limit.
Speaker B:Okay, let me feel these feelings.
Speaker B:Let me express these feelings.
Speaker B:Let me recognize what they're about.
Speaker B:But I'm not going to keep going around and around with these feelings.
Speaker B:I have to allow them to move through my body and out so that I can move forward with my life.
Speaker B:And depending on the cause of the feelings, it may take longer or less time to move through that.
Speaker B:But there's a way to allow yourself to move through the emotions without just simply recycling them.
Speaker B:So that's so important.
Speaker B:So a lot of times I'll have clients who come to me after going to many other therapists before, and they're angry with their mother or they're angry with their father, and sometimes it's a parent who's no longer alive.
Speaker B:And they'll bring this up and I'll.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I'll say, well, you know, before we could move on, we have to work through these feelings.
Speaker B:And then they will.
Speaker B:Then they say to me, well, I've expressed my feelings, and I've expressed my feelings, and they're still there.
Speaker B:And usually that's because you don't do it from the perspective of acceptance.
Speaker B:What do you mean, acceptance?
Speaker B:How can I accept a mother or father who just treated me that way?
Speaker B:And acceptance doesn't mean you.
Speaker B:You liked it.
Speaker B:Acceptance simply means that's reality, and that's who your mother or your father or who fill in the blank, that's who they are.
Speaker B:You wanting them to be different isn't going to automatically make them different.
Speaker B:In fact, you have no control over whether they give you what you want.
Speaker B:Or what you need.
Speaker B:Yes, you deserve all of what you're wanting.
Speaker B:You really do deserve it.
Speaker B:And I want to help you find a way to get what you need and what you deserve.
Speaker B:But if you still keep trying to get it from a person who's not capable of meeting that need, you're going to keep recirculating your anger.
Speaker B:So that's what I mean by acceptance.
Speaker B:In fact, if I need attention, validation, love, and I have a I'm trying to get it from a person who can't give it to me, I'm going to stay stuck.
Speaker B:I have to accept that person is not capable of it.
Speaker B:And then in addition to the anger, I probably have to go through a grieving process of that loss that I'm not going to get it from that person.
Speaker B:But it's only after I go through that process that helps me be more available to get it from someone who's capable of giving it to me.
Speaker B:So those are some of the very important aspects of resilience.
Speaker B:Being open to seeing things in a new way because the old way hasn't worked.
Speaker B:It's being loving to yourself, it's being accepting of yourself.
Speaker B:So each of my nine pillars serves a particular role in how we are more and more resilient.
Speaker A:That's very helpful.
Speaker A:We talked earlier about the fact that part of the issue that so many of us deal with is we just go from one stress in our day to the next stress in our day.
Speaker A:As you think about the work you've done in this area, what are some practical strategies or techniques that individuals can use to develop resilience in the face of our everyday stressors in our life?
Speaker B:Very important.
Speaker B:Keith, good question.
Speaker B:And let me say, strangely enough, that it begins by recognizing that the cards are stacked against us.
Speaker B:What do I mean by that?
Speaker B:The cards are stacked against us.
Speaker B:What I mean is a lot of people feel guilty that they're not able to deal with the stresses in their lives.
Speaker B:And it's helpful to begin by realizing that there are some real reasons why it is difficult.
Speaker B:Let me explain three of those, the basic three reasons.
Speaker B:The first is that we've been gifted through the evolutionary process a stress response, a response to whatever the stresses are in our lives that does not match our environment and it does not match the stresses we deal with.
Speaker B:We have a fight or flight stress response and we've inherited that from our hunter gatherer ancestors and they developed those that approach because that's what worked in that environment.
Speaker B:But even though our, in our environment, our society, our how Is civilization has advanced so exponentially from that time, we're still carrying the same fight or flight stress response, survival mechanism.
Speaker B:And so, you know, you're sitting with a boss, and the boss is giving you an assignment that's very stressful or is criticizing you, so creating stress.
Speaker B:But you're sitting there, and even though your body's preparing to either punch your boss or run from your boss, mobilizing your body, you have to just sit there calmly.
Speaker B:So there's a mismatch, an evolutionary mismatch that keeps activating our body, and then we have to hold, hold in that energy.
Speaker B:The second mismatch is a developmental mismatch, and that's between the environment we learn to use the stress response, our childhood and our current environment.
Speaker B:And so we've learned lessons that are not the best from our childhood environment.
Speaker B:And we've learned ways of dealing with such as negativity, such as being hard on ourselves, such as not thinking enough of ourselves, all of which magnify the situations that trigger our stress response.
Speaker B:But here's the kicker, the final one.
Speaker B:I want you to think of all the successes in your audience, to think of all the successes in your life, and I guarantee that all or most were associated with stress.
Speaker B:So again, we where I began my conversation with you from my old mentor, Donald hebb.
Speaker B:Neurons that fire together, wire together.
Speaker B:Our brains have put together stress success.
Speaker B:They're wired together.
Speaker B:And so unconsciously, automatically, we are programmed through that conditioning to look for stress in our lives.
Speaker B:So that's what we're up against.
Speaker B:The good news, the very good news is there is a way.
Speaker B:And I want to, I want to emphasize that I know that there is a way Because I have the evidence in my own life.
Speaker B:So I would say that one of the consequences of how resilient you are Is how fast or slow you age.
Speaker B:If resilience is your body functioning optimally, that should slow the aging process.
Speaker B:If you're out of balance, if you're stressed, that should speed up the aging process.
Speaker B:In fact, research has demonstrated that stress speeds up the aging process.
Speaker B:So a couple of years ago, I got my biological age.
Speaker B:And this is a test everybody can get where they look at the cells of your body and they can actually measure how fast or slow your body's aging.
Speaker B:And so my biological age, as I develop resilience and the resilience program and follow it, my biological age is 20 years younger than my chronological age.
Speaker B:So this demonstrates, demonstrated to me, and I'm actually doing a research study right now to See, if it's true is scientifically true, not just my one case example.
Speaker B:So we're working on that.
Speaker B:But this is the point, is that the more resilient you are, the more you slow the aging process, the better you feel, the more you have energy to do all the things that you want to do in your life.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:I'm curious, as you did research for this book, what was the most shocking thing you discovered in your research?
Speaker B:Well, again, I would say the most.
Speaker B:Well, what continues to impress me is how people will keep stressing themselves out even though they know and they have evidence that it's hurting them.
Speaker B:I work with a lot of executives, a lot of CEOs who come to me because they can't get to sleep because they have all kinds of physical symptoms that their doctors sent them to me because the doctors realized.
Speaker B:And this is part of, you know, as a professor at ucla, one of my roles is educating physicians, educating medical students.
Speaker B:And this has been my.
Speaker B:One of my real purposes and meaning in my career in life is to help physicians recognize the relationship between stress and disease, between stress and physical condition.
Speaker B:And so a lot of them send their executives to me, and we work on this.
Speaker B:And a lot of people are willing to literally die rather than not keep pushing themselves.
Speaker B:Pushing themselves.
Speaker B:I once had a film producer come to me because he just had.
Speaker B:He had a heart attack and he had quadruple bypass.
Speaker B:And the one thing that stopped him from working so hard, working 14 hours a day, was being in the hospital, even though he tried to do his work from the hospital.
Speaker B:So he came to me afterward after already getting right back into the same grind, to help him with that.
Speaker B:And that's the most amazing thing that I've found a lot of, and that's people who recognize how the stress is hurting them and continue along the same path.
Speaker A:Wow, that is incredible.
Speaker A:So what kind of feedback you getting on your book so far?
Speaker B:Well, I'm getting great feedback.
Speaker B:Great feedback.
Speaker B:One of the people who read the book and commented on it was Michael Ovitz, a mainstay in the Hollywood scene and founder of caa, president of Disney Disney, and he called it a brilliant book.
Speaker B:It's the best handbook for.
Speaker B:It's the handbook for living your best life.
Speaker B:And a lot of medical doctors, people in the longevity field, have also given me very, very high praise for my book.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:I love to ask my guest this question, too.
Speaker A:What do you want your legacy to be?
Speaker B:Well, I'm, you know, I.
Speaker B:I love how my book and The.
Speaker B:And the talks I give and the programs that I do and the courses that I offer people, I love how they make an impact in people's lives.
Speaker B:But a few years ago, I woke up and I said, as much as I enjoy this, and I'm going to continue to do this, I have to find a way to have a bigger impact.
Speaker B:And that's when I did the Summit on Leadership to move into the area of leadership.
Speaker B:And so right now, what I'm doing is working with leaders, because leaders have such a great impact on so many other people.
Speaker B:And I know that the best leaders are the ones who have done their own inner work, who've healed themselves so that they're not racing for more and more money, for more and more success, to step over other people and have that mentality or automatically that they reach deeper inside themselves.
Speaker B:They come to a place of peace within themselves.
Speaker B:And when they do that, they see other people more clearly and they want to help other people, not just themselves.
Speaker B:And so I am right in the process, right now of launching a new podcast that I call Quantum Leadership.
Speaker B:And I've started interviewing my first few leaders over the last few weeks.
Speaker B:And this is a podcast in which I ask them for what their challenges are, have been, what for them to share some of their own inner work that they've done, to be vulnerable with me so that others set an example for others and to identify the qualities of healthy leadership so we can create a model for good leadership.
Speaker B:And following that, my plan is to start a leadership training program to literally train healthy young leaders.
Speaker B:That would be my legacy, to have that be a success.
Speaker A:What a worthy cause.
Speaker A:I love that.
Speaker A:I love pouring in the leaders myself.
Speaker A:So that's a.
Speaker A:A worthy cause you're pursuing there.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:As we wrap up our conversation, what key takeaways do you want to leave with the audience about your book or about the work you're doing?
Speaker B:Okay, well, yeah.
Speaker B:So again, my.
Speaker B:My goal in writing this book was not just to give information, but to get results for people to actually follow through.
Speaker B:So that would be my first tip to people, is that as much as we get stuck in old patterns, our brains have this tremendous capacity for neuroplasticity change.
Speaker B:Nothing is impossible.
Speaker B:And so the direction you set your.
Speaker B:Your mind on, your intentions will.
Speaker B:Your brain will follow.
Speaker B:But the key is you need to be consistent.
Speaker B:And so find a way to help yourself be consistent.
Speaker B:Don't give up.
Speaker B:Failure only occurs when you give up.
Speaker B:Mistakes are there to be learned from.
Speaker B:When you take a perspective of a growth mindset.
Speaker B:Everything that happens in your life is an opportunity to for growth and learning.
Speaker B:Make that your intention.
Speaker B:Make that your path.
Speaker B:Clean Out Unfinished Emotional Business My book In my Emotional Balance and Mastery, I go through a step by step process to help people address, deal with and let go of emotions that they've been carrying sometimes for years.
Speaker B:So make sure that you don't go to bed carrying unfinished emotional business.
Speaker B:Use that process to help you work through and let go.
Speaker B:You'll get a better night's sleep and that will be better for your physical recovery.
Speaker B:Physical Recovery Find if people go to my website drstephensideroff.com there are two things there that I encourage you to go to if and to use.
Speaker B:First is my Resilience Assessment booklet.
Speaker B:Within that I describe my nine pillars and I give you a 40 item questionnaire.
Speaker B:You can take self score and derive your personal resilience profile along these nine dimensions.
Speaker B:It's an eye opener for everybody.
Speaker B:And secondly, I have a 15 minute relaxation exercise that you can get.
Speaker B:You can download find time each day to practice a relaxation exercise.
Speaker B:I redefined stress and your stress response as a useful tool.
Speaker B:But the key for everybody listening is to find your stress sweet spot.
Speaker B:Most of us overshoot that into the danger zone, but if we keep it within the sweet spot, you will perform at your best and your health will be at it at your best as well.
Speaker B:So there are a few tips and a few directions for people to take.
Speaker B:You're not automatically resilient.
Speaker B:You're not born resilient.
Speaker B:As well as anything else, you have to prove practice in order to become resilient.
Speaker B:And so wherever you're at, remember the growth mindset.
Speaker B:Remember you're okay where you're at.
Speaker B:Your first pillar is relationship with yourself.
Speaker B:Make this your internal voice.
Speaker B:Coming from a place of love, acceptance, compassion, support, care.
Speaker B:Care and joy come from that place.
Speaker B:Most of the time if you're upset, it's probably because you're giving yourself negative messages from the old internal voice.
Speaker B:Make it your intention to develop a healthy new internal voice coming from those six qualities that I just gave you.
Speaker B:And if you practice that, I guarantee you will become more resilient.
Speaker A:That's so helpful document.
Speaker A:So where can people find your book the nine Pillars of Resilience.
Speaker A:The proven path to master stress, Slow aging and increase vitality.
Speaker B:So fortunately my book is available in bookstores.
Speaker B:It's available online at Amazon, Barnes and Noble.
Speaker B:Wherever you get books, you can find mine.
Speaker B:If you go into a store and it's not there, ask them to get it.
Speaker B:If you go into the library, it should be there.
Speaker B:If they don't have it, ask them to order it.
Speaker B:They will do that if you ask them.
Speaker B:So my website, drstephensideroff.com is a place where you'll get a lot of useful information.
Speaker B:I have a YouTube channel.
Speaker B:Go to my YouTube channel.
Speaker B:You'll see a lot of my talks, a lot of the information that I have to share there as well.
Speaker A:Well, thank you so much, Doc, for taking the time to share and help us become, hopefully more resilient, less stressed people so that we can live our best self.
Speaker A:And thank you for the work you're doing to help us do that.
Speaker B:You're very welcome.
Speaker B:And thank you for having me on your program and great questions.
Speaker B:Thank you.
